Jacee Drake

2 Blogfests in 1 Day.... Bad News Blogfest & They're People Too...

2010-10-02T01:49:00.000-07:00

Between my dentist appointments and getting my daughter started in headstart I've missed a lot this past week (+?)... but thankfully I'm not going to miss these two blogfests... so here are my entries for both (first Bad News, then They're People, too). Since I'm posting two blogfests, I'm keeping them short.

Be sure to check out the other entries for both the blogfests simply by clicking on the picture of each blogfest here (I hope my html is working finally).... Both pieces are very rough first drafts. I've done no editing. Just wrote them as they came.

Bad News Blogfest...

Wesley followed me outside, walking me to my car as he’d done most mornings over the last three months. I’d come to a decision last night; a decision I've toyed with for at least two weeks. These last three months with Wesley have been a mixture of heaven and hell. I fell in love with him the moment I seen him, and each day we spent together I fell deeper and harder.

Unfortunately, the feelings aren’t mutual. I know I'm nothing more than his newest girlfriend and the memory of our time together will fade out of his mind forever once his next girlfriend takes my place.

Anyone else would enjoy their time with him and ride the wave of Wesley’s attention until the end came. But not me… oh, no. I was far too narcissistic to do something that counterproductive. Instead, I'm hell bent on revealing my true feelings to him and walking away before my heart gets destroyed into a million tiny pieces.

He leaned against the bumper of my beat-up silver Suzuki Samurai’s and assumed the stance I’d witnessed countless times but would likely never see again. My heart clinched.

Maybe you can wait a few more days? My heart practically begged.

I refused to give in to those thoughts this time. After last night, I had no choice but to end things now before it was too late. Last night while we made love he’d kissed me with such intensity, such passion, that my heart had almost convinced me that he was as in love with me as I was with him. And as I lay wrapped in his arms after, our bodies seemingly a perfect fit for each other, I nearly allowed myself to believe I could have a happily ever after with him. Thankfully, my brain slapped common sense in my head and I knew I couldn’t put this off any longer.

I stopped in front of him; the urge to reach out and touch him was overwhelming. But I’d never been comfortable just touching him for the joy of it. He always felt off limits unless we were making love.

Having sex, my harsh brain reminded me.

“We need to talk.”

“Yeah,” He folded his arms over his chest. “That’s what you’ve been saying for weeks now. What is it?”

“Well, you’re not gonna like it.”

“I figured. It’s got to be one of two things.” He pushed away from the bumper with his arms still folded and walked back towards his front door.

I followed him. When he stopped with his back to me I took the rare opportunity to touch him. We were about to be over anyways. What was one more rejection?

I rested my chin against his shoulder, a breath away from his ear, and wrapped my arms around his chest. “I’m in love with you.”

I held my breath and waited for the rejection. For the barest of moments a smile flashed across his lips. But it happened so fast, I probably imagined it the way I imagined he could ever love me. His words confirmed my fears.

“No, you don’t.”

I nodded, as best as I could with my chin still on his shoulder. “Yes, I do. And I’m leaving you because I know you don’t like it.”

He pulled away and took two steps, his back still to me. “Whatever. Do whatever you gotta do.”

My heart broke. I thought I was protecting myself from this pain by bringing it up, but until the moment his words and attitude shut down completely I hadn't realized a part of me hoped he would confess to being in love with me too and asking me not to go. What a fool I was. A stupid fool in love.

I was in love with him, fixing to walk out of his life, and he didn’t give a damn. Tears burned behind my lids, but I refused to let him see that weakness too. I already gave him more than enough of my soul, the least I could keep was my pride.

“Please don’t hate me. I’d like to be friends.” I whispered.

“Whatever.”

I walked towards my Samurai and climbed inside. Once I backed out of the driveway and was out of eye shot – not that he cared, I was sure – tears poured from my eyes. I never looked in my rear-view mirror to see if he was outside his house or had walked inside. I kept my eyes forward and drove through the blur of pain that had settled in my heart and blinded my vision.

I was a complete fool. I should have done like everyone else would have and just stayed with him as long as he would have me. I hadn’t saved myself the pain. I just brought it on sooner.

@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@

They're people too...

I sat at a small table in the town square’s only coffee cafe, a double mocha latte rested in front of me, and watched the crowd rush past in the regular lives.

Who would it be today? Whose life would I affect, since my job was now my choice instead of falling orders as before?

Anyone who has felt my touch in their life can tell you I'm a bitch. I wasn’t always this way. Once upon a time, many millennia ago, people longed to have me touch them. They actually prayed for my presence in their lives.

But that was before the change, before I was betrayed by the very thing I offered.

You see, I once was a cupid – as society called my kind. I would bestow love on those around me that deserved it. I was happy with my life when I first met Brent – a human who couldn’t find love with another human no matter how many times I tried – and I ended up falling in love with him myself.

Yes, I should have known better. He hadn’t falling in love with any of the prospective human mates I found for him, so why believe he could fall in love with me? A mere entity manifested into human form simply to do my job?

Well, I was “love” after all. I believed in all things positive and happy. You know. All that fake shit that little girls are taught from the crib. Fairy tales, happily ever after’s, soul mates and true love. Every single one of them a fiction.

But that was then and this was now. Brent had paid dearly for his betrayal against me, and I was still paying for inflicting that betrayal on him. Not that I minded my job now. Being Betrayal was quit freeing. I lived by no rules and answered to no one but myself.

A flash of golden in my peripheral drew my eye to the right. The light was large and proud as it glowed around the man who owned such a lucky aura. The dark haired man – who reminded me too much of Brent with his dark good looks – had the world at his fingertips. He was madly in love with his college sweetheart and they were happily planning the arrival of a newborn babygirl in the next few weeks.

I rose from my table; my latte untouched, and strolled through the crowd following the man with the rare aura. Several steps behind him I removed one of the leather gloves I kept on my hands to protect “accidental” infections.

Seconds later I was within touching distance. I stumbled over my feet and crashed into him, knocking us both off balance. The innocent hand I grasped around his bare arm to steady myself would end life as he knew it by the end of the day.

“I’m so clumsy.” I smiled apologetically as I released the grip on his arm. “Forgive me.”

He smiled. “Not a problem. Be careful and have a nice day.”

“You, too.” It would be the last day of your happy life... you better enjoy it. I smiled and walked away.

--------------------------------

Progress for the Sake of Progress....

2010-09-16T13:41:00.000-07:00

If it is to be, It is up to me.~William H. Johnson

How true those words are. But I wonder, did he have a conference flooding his email with assignments? Or a group of critiques that were way overdue? Upcoming blogfests (several that he joined and one that he is hosting)? Plus a daily writing/editing goal? Three kids that haven't went a full week of school since it started and one has come home for being "sick"? Never mind entering his first ever contest which leads to nail-biting-knotted-stomach-can't-sleep feeling?

Maybe he did. Maybe he had a hell of a lot more on his plate then what I have right now. Don't get me wrong. I love the challenges. The pressure makes me want to work harder so I don't fail or let anyone down. But fear whispers in my ear that failure is inevitable. Which leads me to my next quote...

New roads; new ruts.
- G. K. Chesterton

As of this minutes, I have 7 individual assignments from Muse Online Conference and one reading assignment of to assess characters in the novel, and I signed up for a total of around 40 workshops (What the HELL was I thinking?? Can I blame it on my first conference? How was I to know there would be assignments?) But, as soon as I get this post published - and the kids mellow - I'll be off to start working on my assignments.

With everything I have going, there is only one thing I can do. Make progress for the sake of progress. Some people may view that as negative, but in my opinion, it's better to do a little bit of something than a hell of a lot of nothing. And trust me, folks, I could easily tip into the nothing phase. Sons of Anarchy started last week, Supernatural and Bones starts next week... oh, yeah... I could easily walk away from everything that's threatening to crush me and sink into an ignorance bliss. But then, once everything calmed down, once I was back to less or no responsibilities, I'd be right back to where I am now (after months of building up to this point, but irregardless).

I rebel against restraints at the same time that I flourish in them. Hmmm... maybe that's part of my bipolar? I have always gone from one extreme to the next, fluctuating between the two with ease. Happy in both world, but never in-between.

I'll leave you with one quote that is my favorite...

Once you sink that first stake, they'll never make you pull it up.
- Robert Moses

---------------------------------------

At First Sight Blogfest with a Prize

2010-09-10T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hello bloggy-buddies, in lieu of the small numbers of blogfests I’ve encountered I’ve decided – at the prompt of Tessa and encouragement of Summer – to host my very own (and first) blogfest.

Introducing: “At First Sight Blogfest” to be held October 7th. I wish I could say this blogfest was the product of my sheer genius, but I cannot. Thank you goes to Tessa for the idea of the AFS Blogfest. And for helping to point me in the right direction on all things hosting a blogfest.

I made a super cool button for this blogfest (my first “button” as well, though I’ve went a little nuts with them since I made the blogfest button) but since I’m still quiet html illiterate, I’ll have to ask that everyone to copy/save and link back to this post. :( Sorry guys, I’m learning… just at a turtles pace.

About the Blogfest:
On October 7th, post an entry describing in about 500 words the moment your MC meets someone of importance for the first time. Could be friend, lover, enemy, long-lost parent, sibling... whoever is important to them - at that point in their life - and the emotion and reaction to the encounter your MC goes through.

Since I’m trying to build up my followers I’m offering a prize with this blogfest, but like most good things in life, there are rules… Hey! Who threw the shoe at me? Could you not have tossed a pair of high-heel boots or what?

Ahem.

The rules (and point system):

Sign up in the Linky-List Below. Post you’re entry on October 7th (Don’t forget to make your rounds on other participates blogs to comment on their posts). This is the only Rule without points, because without this step you can’t gain points. :(

Become a follower of this blog (JaceeDrake) earns ya 3 pts (already a follower? All five of ya? lol Automatic 3 pts).

Tweet the contest 1 pt per tweet. Hashtag #atfirstsight (up to a total of 5 pts.) Why? Because let’s face it… I need as much advertising as I can get. :*(

Display button on your blog 2 pts

Refer a friend to be a follower 2 extra pts for you, 1 extra point for them. Just make sure that the friend referred comments to let me know that you referred them so I can give you your points. (If Jane refers Penny, Penny can’t refer Jane, too.)

Please add your collective scores (twitter and you're points for referral I can sort out but a mention of it would be greatly helpful) and leave them in a comment. I'll add the points totals late evening of the 7th.

The winner will be determined by Random.org

The prize(s).

Since I am a writer (and unpublished at that) we can’t go all crazy, so I’m offering a $20 gift card to Amazon or Barnes & Noble of the winner’s choice. If this blogfest goes well – really well – (or in the event of a tie) I’ll even offer a second place prize of $10 gift card, again winner’s choice, to Amazon or B&N.

Linky List:

--------------------------------------------------

Since I am new at this... I may have to tweak this post a little. When I'm more confident I covered all the bases, I'll delete this little side note.

New Voices Contest by Mills & Boon

2010-09-09T14:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I entered a contest today... as if I don't have enough on my plate right now.

With No Shame edits, the Samhain anthology, Muse Online Writers Conference, and NaNo coming up, I probably should have just left my plate alone. But what can I say? I'm a glutton.

I've never entered a contest before. Yes, I said it. Me. Never. Contest. So I really wanted to try one. So I posted Chapter One of No Shame in all it's glory!

It would be great if you could go over there, read my chapter, and tell me what you think. Be honest, too. I love honest feedback!

Wish me luck!
----------------

Where, Oh Where, Have All the Blog-fest's gone?

2010-09-05T20:58:00.000-07:00

I've found three blogfests to enter so far, but seriously... three? Where the hell did all the other blogfests go? Are they in Wit Pro? Did they go on strike and I'm just clueless? OMG, did Aliens abduct them as a way to make us blogger go insane?? Did I miss a memo about the lack of blogfests and now they're standing in the corner laugh at me?

I gather the more logical reason is the lack of blogfests is proof of the hectic times of writers right now.

At any rate... look in to my right sidebar for the few that I have found. I may go on a blogfest hunt in the next few days to see what others are out there. When I can round up any more, I’ll add them too.

Since this is a relatively new blog – okay… my second post on this blog… and? – if you know of any blogfests I haven’t posted just let me know and I’ll add them to my sidebar.

Okay, I think I’m off to read before bed.

____________________

Welcome to my Bloggy World

2010-09-02T18:35:00.000-07:00

I love to engulf myself in inside a world of darkness, mystery, and intrigue... won't you join me along a path I've found that provides all three? The path to publication that so many writers are seeking.

A little about me. I'm a married mother of three mini-me hellions who love to stress me out, keep me on my toes, and bring a smile to my face several times a day. In turn, I try my damnedest to return the love. My teenager is tired of Mama calling him "her baby" in front of his friend’s *mwahhhahaha*, my pre-teen has "the worst day of his life" at least once a week (thanks to chores or being told to do homework) and my princess toddler is fast learning that even princesses have to listen to the Queen *damn the bad luck!*

Grab your coffee mug or wine glass, pull up your chair, kick off your shoes and let's laugh and cry together through shared posts and comments.